Send My Regrets.

Back in late July/early August, I received a phone call from a mentor of mine from about 10 years ago. Pastor Tim Payne asked me to consider serving with him as their youth pastor for the new church plant God had called him to start in Florida.

Flash back: I got married a few months before on February 29th, 2012. To a beautiful Cali girl on Leap Day!

Flash Forward to my response: "I am honored that you would even consider me. But it's different now. If I was single, I'd pack up and go. But I am married now, and I would have to consider my wife in this."

I did ask for a period of time to pray about this. I was scared. I had my normal feelings of being inadequate, and unqualified. And other excuses. Pastor Tim graciously said that no time limit was needed and to just pray and seek God's will. He expressed that God was directing things, and all things will work out as this is His plan and ministry.

My wife and I prayed. Talked about this over our meals, during our drives, and cried out of fear and the potential discomfort in our lives this would cause. We prayed some more, and talked some more.

So... I'd like to share what I read in Luke during this time.

Jesus said, "For there was once a man who threw a great dinner party and invited many. When it was time for dinner, he sent out his servant to the invited guests, saying, 'Come on in; the food's on the table.'
"Then they all began to beg off, one after another making excuses. The first said, 'I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.'
"Another said, 'I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.'
"And yet another said, 'I just got married and need to get home to my wife.'
"The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, 'Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.'
"The servant reported back, 'Master, I did what you commanded - and there's still room.'
"The master said, 'Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full! Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my dinner party.'" Luke 14: 15-24 (Msg)

When God calls, don't make excuses.



Pray for us as we obey God and move to Gulf Breeze, Florida, and serve at Momentum Church.

Check out the website: momentumonline.org

Happy Mother's Day, Ma.

When I was a kid, about 13 years of age, I had thoughts about how I would 'manage' without my parents. How I would live without them. I remember the fear, sadness, the morbid, eerie feelings. I just knew I couldn't take it. A year after, God decided through His infinite wisdom, to take my father home. A few months before Papa died, I was encouraging a friend of mine whose father had passed away. Because of the feeling of knowing that that could've been my dad who died, I remember thinking that I did not want him to be in this situation. I tried to sit down with him, listen to him, and just do whatever I could to 'make it easy' for him. Of course, I didn't succeed. I probably helped in some small way, but that's as far as it went.

I didn't think I'd make it this far without him. My dad was a huge presence in my life, and I thank God for the memories. I thank Him for the grace to move forward.

During the next season of our family's life, I also remember the thoughts of losing my mother. After hearing the news of her being diagnosed of Ovarian Cancer, I thought, "Am I gonna be that person losing both parents?" Another few years later, and I did. I did become that person. My siblings and I. We did. 

Every Father's Day, and every Mother's Day, I am overwhelmed with the clear memories, and the reality of not being able to send them greeting cards. Not being able to call them on speed dial to hear their responses. 

And as we celebrate our Mothers during this special day, I just want to focus on how much God blessed me through His sovereignty by allowing me to be born and raised through parents who loved Him like crazy. How I am grateful to the Lord for giving me a Mother who always wanted to be in the center of His will. 

Ma, I wish you were here. I wish I could write you a card. I wish I could give you a kiss and a hug. You would be surprised of who I married. You would've been proud of me. But I'm glad you're in the arms of our Saviour. I'm jealous. But I will see you and Papa again, for sure. I know you can't hear me, but, Happy Mother's Day. I love you.

I forget, therefore I don't care.

Forgetfulness. Anyone think that word is similar to carelessness?

With what I make financially right now, I'm not quite sure how I'm making it. With car problems rising, rent arriving seemingly earlier than the first of every month, and other things I don't like paying, it's amazing I am still surviving.

One main reason I know I've been moving forward: Jesus.

It's funny (or should I say, sad on my part), because He has proven Himself to be faithful to me, despite my lack thereof. He doesn't even need to prove Himself to me. It amazes me how much Jesus loves me, and cares for a mess like me. But He does. And yet I still lack in trusting Him completely.

Yes, I do try my best to be more organized with my finances, to be a better steward of His providence in my life. But I cannot take recognition.

So, forgetfulness equals carelessness? This is what I'm trying to say. Let me just get to the point of this note (I actually was going to make this really short. but I'm always long-winded.):

I forget to thank my Jesus for His providence in my life. I should be more grateful. I should praise Him more often that what I am doing right now. If I really cared enough to thank Him, I wouldn't forget.

Jesus, thank you for your faithfulness. For Your providence. For Your mercy. For saving me from the Almighty God's wrath. I will forever be grateful. Father, I am so astonished by Your grace! I love You!

Modern Worship or Hymns of the Faith?

Worship music has always been a sensitive topic. People preferring one genre over the other: Modern worship vs. Hymns of the Faith. Too loud vs. Too Dead. Old stuff, new stuff. Drums, no drums. Dancing or no dancing. Or... "Our church has a young generation, and it won't relate to that stuff.", vs. "Our church has the mature, wiser, and older generation. They give tithes, so we need to cater to them."

If we start to focus our energy, and give our worship to the One who deserves our worship, then the previous paragraph will not be an issue. It will never exist.

We forget so easily why we do these things. We forget so easily why these songs were written, and who it was written for. If we can just remember that worship is NOT ABOUT US, BUT ABOUT JESUS CHRIST, then we won't have these petty arguments of selfish 'preferences.' Instead, we'll focus on who we are worshipping.

Worship music is just a tiny part of the giant picture of True Worship. The worship of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Letting Go Of Desmond Hume

Sometimes I deny that I actually like to watch chick flicks. Yes, I said it. I do like to, sometimes. Hey gimme a break, I said 'sometimes.' Why do I like it, sometimes? Well, it reminds me of sweet times I have with Debbie (You can grab your barf bag now). It also gives me some pointers and tips on how to say/do something nice to her. Ok enough about that. This wasn't the point to this blog.

It's actually easy to deny things from ourselves. Well, again, sometimes. Just like the other day, I deactivated my Facebook account, and that was pretty easy. Though I claim to not be addicted to it. We can deny ourselves other things like, food, when we are on a diet. Or even TV shows, especially when it consumes our time (Sorry Desmond Hume. I had to let you guys go there for a few. You too, Stanley.). And of course, countless other things.

Deny yourself. I'm gonna "cut to the chase" here. Being a Christ-follower actually involves denying yourself completely. Christ requires that from me as His follower. Not necessarily isolating yourself from the world, and because of that, you will grow spiritually. Denying yourself means a willingness to obey His commandments, serve one another, and suffer... Even die for His sake.

Jesus said, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me (Mark 8:34)."

That's what it costs. Being a Christian is not some cheap, single, down to a little prayer-type of decision. Being a disciple, a Christ-follower, costs you your own life. Jesus never said your life here on earth would be better or easier when you follow Him. Look what happened to Paul. He got beheaded. Peter. Crucified upside-down. Stephen, was stoned. These were among others.

Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Taking up your cross, means, to the point of death, if necessary. Nothing held back.

Jesus said, "Whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels (Mark 8:38)." Those who reject these demands of discipleship prove themselves to be ashamed of Jesus Christ and the truth He taught, thus not redeemed from sin at all.

That's what's required of His followers. Nothing less. Jesus gave His life for you. For me. Nothing less. Paul says in his letter to the Church at Rome; For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.

Jesus offers forgiveness. He offers a life full of joy despite hardships. He offers eternal life. Follow him. He says, "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it (Matthew 10:38)." Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Follow Him. Find life in Christ.

Twenty Four Hours

Alone on the road for about sixteen hours. That's plenty of time to think about the past. Choices made, actions taken. That's also plenty of time to consider future choices, future decisions, and future actions. That happened almost four years ago.

In a few weeks, I will have this opportunity again. Only this time, I will have twenty four hours alone. From Dallas to Los Angeles. Early morning drives, late night stops, and numerous bathroom stops. I'm really excited about the trip, but I'm pretty nervous as well. I'm not so much nervous about the distance, or the reckless driving around me. Not so much about the loneliness, or about getting lost. But about leaving what I was comfortable in. Leaving what I knew. Leaving this place where I believed God had called me to, at one point. Leaving a place I considered to be home.

My reason for the excitement? In about twenty two days, I will have a new place to consider home. New people to minister to. New friends, of course not forgetting the old, and a new church. But what gives me the most excitement, and joy, and happiness, is the day I see Debbie smiling at me and saying, "Welcome to your new home state!"

Philippines, West Virginia, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, New Jersey, Michigan, Texas. Another long-distance drive. Another trip. Another transition. California.

Reason Enough...

Life as we know, is full of transitions. It can be a transition from one grade to another. Or maybe one schoolgirl crush to another. It can be a transition from one ministry to another. One state to another. In my case, it's the latter two.

A few of you know about my past, my past of living in five states in the last 5 years. Some may say that this would be an incredible experience. Some may say that it would be too unstable. Others would say, that it would be rather difficult and lonely. All these thoughts are true. At least I would think so.

So... Another transition in my life is arriving. And this will go down in my life's history as the toughest, biggest decision I will ever make. I'm not a great writer. I don't know all the rules and regulations, but I hope I am keeping you interested.

Recently, I turned in my resignation letter to the church I have served with, for the past three and a half years. I served as the Worship Pastor of this church, which is located here in Dallas-Fort Worth. It has been a crazy year! I have been praying long and hard for this move (I wish my parents were both still alive. How I wish could give them a call, and ask for some advice. Something.). But somehow, I could not arrive at a decision. I couldn't move forward. For a few great reasons, I kept telling myself that it wouldn't be the right decision to leave. I knew God had brought me down here to DFW, from Jersey. Without a doubt. Practically speaking, I had to resign. That should've been reason enough actually. But it wasn't.

Late 2009, I started some conversations with this girl... Fast-forward: She's now my girlfriend, given straight from God. I'm moving to California, to start a new life, a new ministry, and a new chapter. She was reason enough.